This week I had a big lesson on learning what I want. It was a relatively expensive one, because I had already purchased a flight. I had intended to fly to Michigan, and originally wanted to go on Saturday morning and return Monday morning. That seemed reasonable. I found a flight that fit my budget and time schedule. Then I got busy with opening the milk depot and did not book it. The next time I looked the fare had jumped up by $100 so I decided against it.
A week later, my conscience of what I could and could not afford grabbed me, and I searched again. I found a flight that I thought would work, for similar original price, and purchased it, only to discover that it would NOT work, and I would miss the event I was originally trying to make. Thankfully there was a 24 hour cancellation, so I cancelled it. Still committed to trying to make it work, I looked on Priceline. For even less money, there was another flight, leaving on Friday and coming back on Monday. I thought that would be a good choice, but the catch was that I could not chose the times. I decided I would gamble on the times and hope for the best.
The best was a 6am departing flight on Friday morning, and return flight arriving at midnight on Monday night. Oh, this was not what I wanted at all! And it was a connecting flight going to Chicago! What had I done to myself? For that time commitment, I could have driven, which was the exact reason I looked into a flight - so I wouldn't have to drive, and wouldn't be gone so long.
Yesterday I called both Priceline and United to see what I could do to cancel my flight. I could cancel it but I could not get any money back. I decided that the money lost was not going to break me and and was a lesson learned in balancing money saved and time spent. It was really hard on me to make this decision. But I also am glad I did.
Instead of the stress of waking up at 3:30am, I got 8 hours of sleep, 5 of which were deep sleep. I also decided to not set an alarm and let my body wake naturally, which it did at 6:30am. I relaxed this morning by drinking coffee and working on a puzzle. I will have 2 clients today who reached out for help with breastfeeding after I made the decision to not go.
I still feel sad about the missed event, and I may even regret it later. However, I also am acknowledging that I needed more recharging than I realized. The publicity of the milk depot opening and the extra responsibility of running the milk depot requires that I monitor where I am more closely and not push myself to the edge. To me, buying a plane ticket was a huge commitment, and to back out of it was a big deal. Yet I am also good with acknowledging that not every decision I make has be to "right" and that is it valid to make mistakes both in how I spend my time and my money.
What "flight" can you miss to help you recharge?
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